Vorige week postte ik een bericht op Facebook om mijn webinar over Executieve functies bij pubers aan te kondigen. Als voorbeeld gebruikte ik een slimme tiener die zijn kamer niet op kan ruimen. Iemand reageerde in de trant van: wifi uit en dan moet je eens kijken hoe snel het kan. En ja, er zijn zeker tieners waarbij dat effect zal hebben. En ik wil geen discussie voeren of dit wel of niet een pedagogisch verantwoorde aanpak is.
Nee, het gaat me om iets anders. Er zijn namelijk kinderen en jongeren (en volwassenen) die dat gewoon echt niet kunnen. De executieve vaardigheden (regelfuncties van de hersenen) zijn onvoldoende ontwikkeld. Het is geen onwil, maar onmacht. Het lukt ze echt níet om te bedenken waar ze moeten beginnen. Of ze zijn echt door elk dingetje zó afgeleid dat ze heel snel de opdracht al weer kwijt zijn. Ze beginnen met iets in de kast te leggen en eindigen met een hele grote berg kleding op de grond fotoalbums van vroeger te bekijken.
Natuurlijk kan een prikkel van buiten (een consequentie of een beloning) de wil om het te doen beïnvloeden. Maar als je echt geen idee hebt hoe je iets voor elkaar moet krijgen, dan is deze prikkel niet voldoende. Je zal als ouder, leerkracht of begeleider deze vaardigheid moeten aanleren of ondersteunen. Bijvoorbeeld door een activiteit in stapjes op te delen. Erbij te blijven. Het eerst samen te doen. Vaardigheden te trainen.
Het is zoeken naar een balans tussen ondersteunen, als het ware de executieve functies over te nemen, en aanleren. Als je alles overneemt worden de executieve vaardigheden ook niet getraind. Maar als je niet ondersteunt is de kans groot dat je je kind overvraagt. En dat het zoveel faalervaringen en negatieve reacties krijgt dat het zelfvertrouwen en zelfbeeld eronder kan lijden. Het is daarom belangrijk dat je je afvraagt wat er áchter het gedrag zit. Is het onwil? Of is het onmacht?
Meer weten over executieve functies bij pubers en wat je als ouders kunt doen? Doe mee aan mijn webinar voor ouders, op 28 januari om 20.00 uur.
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Å lese ditt essay var en sann glede for meg. Du var svært vellykket i å klargjøre emnet, og din skrivestil er både interessant og lett å forstå. Prinsippene var mye lettere å forstå etter å ha lest eksemplene du ga. Din ekspertise er sterkt verdsatt.